Beyond Bollywood and to the Smithsonian by Sonali Dev

Last week I visited the nation’s capital. The last time I was there was a good two decades ago when I was a tourist visiting from India and not a decade old naturalized citizen, and when the world was a substantially different place (nowhere near as different as it had been years before that, though, as I learned on this visit. But more about that later). For one, back then I couldn’t have imagined there being an exhibit at the Smithsonian about Indian Americans and the history of their migration and assimilation into America. It was a time when being asked how my English was so good was a regular occurrence and being asked where India was wasn’t uncommon either. It was a time when being Indian in America sometimes felt a lot like being invisible.

So of course when I heard that there was now such an exhibit I went in search of it. Ironically enough, the exhibit, aptly named Beyond Bollywood, wasn’t easy to find. Much like the information it housed. After trudging in from the rain, my friend and I made our way to the second floor of the National Museum of Natural History where the website told us the retrospective was housed. After three rounds around the exhibit area searching in vain and finding not one sign for it on any map or signage, we broke down and asked for assistance. One of the kind staff members led us through several exhibit areas to the very back, past the museum shop and corridors almost as metaphorically complicated as finding your way around a foreign land and there we were, finally, outside the exhibit we sought.


Your standard shoe rack found at the entrance of most Indian homes

Our first greeting was a display of shoes on a shoe rack, a fairly accurate symbol of the entrance to most Indian homes. There was a nice big sign explaining this and yet a few of the other visitors, adorably eager, bent down to remove their shoes.

It was in this state of half amusement that I entered into the exhibition space, an old Raj Kapoor song piping in through speakers. Jina yahan marna yaahan,  iske siva jaana kahan, he sang in Mukesh’s signature nostalgia-inducing voice. Here we live and here it is we’ll die. Where else would we go now? The lyrics, which I’m pretty sure refer to making the best of our lives here on earth, there in that space took on the form of an ode to migration and had me reaching for a tissue.

You see, I’ve always fancied being a first generation immigrant as somewhat cutting edge. Like a wayfarer, an adventurer, leaping into the great unknown, choosing to leave behind the comfort of home in search of a bigger life or at least one that I myself got to make from scratch. I’ve always thought of people as falling into two categories: the nomads, turtles who carry their homes on their back to wherever they go; and the landlords, trees, who are rooted in the earth. My brother, for instance, is a tree. He is so of his soil and hearth I cannot imagine him ever being uprooted. I, born to the very same parents, want to have bits of me scattered all over the world and bits of the world imbibed into every corner of me.

So here I was, at the very first display amused and marginally thrilled with myself, staring into a mirror flanked by pictures of mundane-enough Indian immigrant life and a sign asking quite simply, ‘Indian Americans. Who are we?’ I thought I knew the answer to that question. Just like the sign says, we “are as diverse as America itself” including “students, farmers, artists, cab drivers, businesspeople, and technology pioneers… Some trace their roots here to the late 1800s, arriving with other immigrants who came to build, and find, the American Dream. Others came in the 1960s, arriving at the height of the Civil Rights Movement, to join and shape a “new” America.”

It was the part about some of us tracing our roots back to the 1800s that stopped me in my tracks.


Indian workers building the railroads

I had always assumed that Indians who migrated here in the sixties and seventies had been some of the earliest immigrants. And I am well aware of how different their immigration experience had been from mine given how different both countries were from their current avatars at the time and how vastly disparate in terms of culture when compared with each other. My father’s brother came here in the sixties and growing up I always thought of him and his family as a ghost of a presence in our lives, almost like lost relatives who might as well live on a different planet and visit every so many years. Over the almost twenty years that I’ve lived in America, I’ve spoken with my brother and my parents almost every day thanks to Whatsapp, Facebook and Skype. And our lives aren’t all that different from each others.

So, yes, my uncle’s immigration experience was very different from my own. One I always think of as much more isolating- more an amputation when compared to my far more painless transplantation.

But compare that with someone who made the passage a century before that.

Kanta Chandra who fought for citizenship for 60 years

Kanta Chandra who fought for citizenship for 60 years

Walking through the exhibit was like stepping through time and finding battles I was embarrassed to learn I didn’t even know had been fought on my behalf. Indians who worked the railroads in the late 1800s, farmers from Punjab, fleeing from British oppression, who worked alongside Chinese immigrants to support the nation’s industrial boom. The horrific attacks on Indian mill workers in Washington and California in the early 1900s to force them out and the lack of legal action and public outrage. The ban on the migration of Asian women so the men would not settle and procreate. The indefatigable fights for citizenship. A Sikh US Army combat veteran who was granted citizenship in 1920, only to have it revoked in 1923 because he wasn’t white. He continued to apply again and again until he was granted citizenship in 1936. A young woman who applied for citizenship and was denied it over and over again between the years 1910 and 1969. That’s a 60-year long battle.

And one that shattered all sorts of glass ceilings.


“A new problem for Uncle Sam” political cartoon in the San Francisco Call, August 13, 1910.

For me the retrospective was about learning about these pioneering struggles, but really it spans the century from those to the racial violence of the ‘Dotbusters’ in the 1980s and along the way visits the reality behind the stereotypes of the taxi drivers, the motel owners, the doctors and tech workers. It goes on to pay tribute to the contributions of Indian Americans to the arts, science, sports and politics in the wake of those early struggles that brought us to a place where you don’t have to be Indian American to be appalled by this cartoon that was published in the San Francisco Call.

I might have entered with no idea what to expect from the barely marked exhibit tucked away at the very back of the museum, but I left feeling pretty confident that inaccessibility and a circuitous path would not stop those who had the will from finding their way there. And I sincerely hope that you will find your way there too if you can.

Beyond Bollywood will be at the National Museum of Natural History until August 16, 2015 after which I can only hope it will travel to other cities so more people can see it. More information at

To See or Not to See by Falguni Kothari

Bollywood movies are known for three things primarily: the colorful costumes and dances, the over-the-top melodrama (as if a mere over-the-top drama wouldn’t be enough) and their limitless (and shameless) ability to churn out scripts that are atrocious remakes of Hollywood movies or adaptations of western literature.

This week (or was it last?) Anyway, two Bollywood films were released on October 2nd (Gandhi-jis birthday and lets just forget for a second HIS horror about the fact that HE freed us from the clutches of western subjugation only so we could adopt western influence with greedy, grasping arms within decades of India’s Independence!) But thats another topic for discussion.

In this post, I contemplate if it’s worth rearranging my life for 3 to 4 hours (per movie) and make the trips to the theatre in the coming week.

Bang Bang! 

Starring gorgeous Hrithik Roshan’s abs and gorgeous Katrina Kaif’s fake suntanned skin, plus the regular order of eye-popping global locations, gravity-defying stunts and a story that might do better as slapstick comedy. Bang Bang is also a bad adaptation of a not-so-great Hollywood movie, Knight and Day. Be that as it may, I could be convinced to ignore the love-is-a-Stockholm-Syndrome premise of the movie and watch it just for the apparent movie-screen watchable gorgeousness of the lead actors. Most Bollywood movies do not inspire thinking. They inspire gushing (and headaches but whatever.)

PLease shoot me in the head!

Now for adaptation #2


Something is rotten in the State of Kashmir.

This is Vishal Bhardwaj’s adaptation of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Already, this movie option is looking up. Why? One, because it’s an adaptation of one of the greatest tragedies written by one of the greatest playwrights of this world. Plus, Bhardwaj has already redeemed his directorial and screenwriting “chutzpah” with Maqbool (think Macbeth) and Omkara (think Othello) and quite brilliantly. I loved both those movies.

What Bhardwaj seems to have done with Haider is take this great and complicated work – Hamlet – place it in the great and complicated world of a 1990s Kashmir. This was a time when Kashmir was in serious turmoil. To side with India or Pakistan? To sympathize with Muslims or Hindus? To be loyal or turn traitor? To sit tight or join the fight?

Get it? To be or not to be, that is the question! (Hamlet)

The movie has garnered acclaim and criticism alike. While the core plotline of Hamlet seems to have remained brilliantly intact in Haider, where Haider (played by Shahid Kapur) returns to Kashmir to find his father missing in action and his mother cohabiting with his uncle in a world gone to shit (something rotten in Denmark!), the thematic plot has been totally Bollywoodized. It seems with success (from what I’m reading of the reviews.) The only glitch (if you can call it that) is the pacing of the movie, which tends to drag. But so does the real Hamlet.

So, there you have it, Readers. 2 Bollywoodized movies to choose from. If you have seen them or end up seeing them, I’d love to know what you think. Or let me know what you think, regardless.

Ciao for now! I’ll see you when I see you! :)

Kriti 2014: A South Asian Literary Festival About Creativity

I attended my first Kriti Festival, a South Asian Literary Festival in Chicago, and all I can say is Wow. Here’s a picture that encapsulates everything I loved about the experience — beautiful diversity, amazing creativity and the joy of sisterhood.

Kriti (Authors Meeta Kaur, Sonali Dev, Me (Mina Khan) Nura Maznavi, Soniah Kamal and Shikha Malaviya)

Sometimes you  go through life not really knowing what you’re missing, what you need. Since pursuing a career in writing I have attended several writing conferences (fiction and non-fiction). But none of them was Kriti.

Kriti is a Sanskrit word that means “creation.” Well, Kriti Fest recreated me. It was amazing to see all the creativity  — dance, song, words, photographs, often melded together into beautiful work. While we were all South Asian, we had so many different experiences and voices. One of the panels discussed the authenticity of the South Asian voice. At this conference, we had Muslim love stories, Rajasthani fiction with the rhythm of Kathak dance, Srilankan civil war fiction, South Asian themed erotic speculative fiction, a YA set in Saudi Arabia written by a Canadian desi and so much more. At first I thought my djinn and dragon stories would be totally out of place, but no. Both my stories and myself fit right into all that vibrant creativity. I realized there is no “one” voice and every story has a right to exist.

Now, I have been to many desi parties and programs. Usually, I have gone mostly for the food while the aunties talked over my head. Well, there was food here — lots of good food. Kriti organizer Mary Anne Mohanraj pulled together a feast for us. The food was awesome, but the conversation…oh, the conversation! Putting so many creative minds together in one room is like an explosion of ideas and inspiration.Kriti Feast

As creatives, we are all about inspiration. It’s what allows ideas to flourish and new works to happen, it is what creates connection.

But one of the best parts of Kriti was about being able to just share without stopping to explain or provide footnotes to people. People who understood and accepted me and my individual desi experience and my particular brand of crazy creativity with open arms. So I went to Kriti nervous because I knew only one person — my Sari Sister Sonali Dev, but returned with an amazing and supportive tribe of creative friends. Thanks to Mary Anne, Neha, and everyone who made Kriti happen. You made a big difference.

Love,Sonali & me


How do you celebrate your birthday?

Today’s is going to be a very self-indulgent nostalgic post about life and other important things…:)

September has been special to me even before I got The Call that changed my life two years ago. As weird as it sounds, yes, I celebrated my Calliversary a few days ago and have now had 4 books out and my 5th will be out in November.

So when September rolls around every year, I take stock of what I have accomplished writing wise along with where I’m in my life. As it turns out, today I’m celebrating my (a significant number J) birthday and looking back on how I set out years ago.

Without tooting my own horn too much, you could have said I had promise.

A lot of self-realizations followed over the years, some nice and some not nice, and I’m very disappointed and regretful about some things I have and not done.

Hindsight is a hard bitch, isn’t she?

But on the other hand, it seems not doing these things led me to another path…

I saw this quote on Sunday in a store with a picture of Marilyn Monroe that said, “I’d have never got here if I had followed all the rules.”

And I thought, YES!! Some of the paths I did choose or didn’t were mutually exclusive from their alternatives.

So every year, I work on minimizing my regrets and disappointments (I still have many) and try to look forward to what I want to accomplish by the next time my next birthday rolls around and this time I thought I would share some from it…

  • Be conscious of what I have ever day
  • Strive to be better than myself in every area
  • Be Present in whatever I do.

So come on, tell me, how do you celebrate birthdays? Do you look back and have regrets? Or are you more hung up on the number that just passed?

Please share.

Priya in Heels by Ayesha Patel Releases Today!

It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!! (Tossing high heel confetti!)

I wrote a book. It’s called Priya in Heels. There’s lots of saris, quirky jokes, and a few sexy scenes that’ll make you swoon. So ladies, put on your sexiest heels. Gentlemen, rock that awesome plaid. And prepare to fall in love.

A new adult title from Entangled’s Embrace imprint…

Love doesn’t conquer all…does it?

Priyanka Patel is the epitome of an obedient daughter. She’s finishing up her medical residency at one of Houston’s busiest emergency departments, and has agreed—albeit reluctantly—to marry the man her family has chosen for her. The only thing that can derail the “perfect” life laid out before her is the sexy musician down the hall who wants into her life…and into her bed.

Tyler O’Connor has been infatuated with Priya since she treated his sprained ankle in the ER, and after saving her from a brutal attack, he can’t get her out of his head. When Priya puts her family’s wishes before their relationship, agreeing to an arranged marriage with another man, Tyler is devastated.

But love is fierce and unreasonable and clashes with the carefully sculpted life her parents want for her. Is going after her heart such a big deal, or will it truly unravel Priya’s world?

Advance Praise:
“Priya in Heels is an exquisite mix of culture, romance, and humor all brought together by two characters you can’t help but love from the get-go. It’s a must read!” ~NYT Bestselling Author Anna Banks

“Sweet and sexy with a dash of spice.” ~USA Today Bestselling Author Nicola Marsh

“Chemistry jumps off the pages in this sexy-fun tale of family, “firsts,” and doing anything for true love. I swooned over Ty right along with Pree!” ~USA Today Bestselling Author Ophelia London

“A moving story about a girl at a crossroads between her Indian culture and what’s expected of her, and the American boy who’s stolen her heart.” ~USA Today Bestselling Author Cindi Madsen

“A thoroughly entertaining romance that deftly captures the enduring conflict between conservative Indian traditions and contemporary American culture.” ~Shobhan Bantwal, Award-Winning Author of the Dowry Bride

Want to know more about Priya, Tyler, the writing process, getting published, the Indian diaspora, etc.? Maybe win some cool stuff, like a Kindle? Check out my website for all the places I’ll be in the next couple of weeks. Everything kicks off with tonight’s Facebook release party where over a dozen authors will be hanging out, chatting with readers, and giving away lots of prizes. Also, there’s a release week special happening, so grab it now!

I’m so excited to share Priya’s story with you!

Suleikha Opens Up The Lunchbox

The-Lunchbox-2013Ritesh Batra’s The Lunchbox premiered in May of 2013 at the Cannes Film Festival, quickly becoming an audience darling and receiving critical raves. Touted as a quiet movie, an epistolary love story and a warm and lovely film, it stars Irrfan Khan (whom you may know from In Treatment and Life of Pi), theatre actress Nimrat Kaur and Nawazuddin Siddiqui* (Gangs of Wasseypur, Kahaani). I have no idea why it took me so long to see it! And if you enjoy an achingly sweet story where the romantic tension builds at a perfect pace and the character interaction is rooted in sincerity, you need to see it, too!

The central conceit of The Lunchbox involves, as you might guess, a lunchbox — a tiffin or a dabba — and what happens when a neglected young wife’s delicious dishes are unwittingly delivered to a lonely aging bachelor instead of her husband. (Sidebar: Mumbai’s dabbawallahs and their mind-boggingly efficient lunch delivery service is famous.) Ila and Saajan become offbeat, honest pen pals and, through their notes, learn to take a larger look at their respective lives.

Continue reading

(Wedding) Party in the USA

It was bound to happen. One of us sari sisters was going to write a snarky post about Indian weddings. Well, here it is. Snark and all.

Last week I had the good fortune (read: snark) of attending two weddings in 72 hours. One was an American wedding in which I was a bridesmaid, and the other was an Indian wedding in which my mother’s best friend’s daughter was getting married. Both weddings were beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but there were a few differences to say the least. I’ve taken the liberty of pointing out these differences that non-Indians may not be aware of.

1. How many parties equal a wedding?

The American wedding has a rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ceremony and reception.

The Indian wedding has an engagement party, sangeet (ladies’ singing night), mehndi (where the bride gets henna on her hands), a pooja (a prayer service in which the bride is blessed by her family members), baraat (in which the groom and his family come dancing up to the door of the house to claim the bride), ceremony (which is two hours long at the minimum), and reception in addition to a bunch of cultural requirements in between that may or may not apply depending on the region and religious sect you come from.

weddings 1

That’s right. The invite is a FOLDER with each event on a separate page.

2. Good LORD, the people!

The American wedding I went to had a tasteful party of 80-90 guests at the ceremony and reception.

The Indian wedding had upwards of 600 people. For real.

This is the hotel the wedding took place in. The families on both sides had to go out of their way to have the wedding here because this was the only hotel big enough.

This is the hotel the wedding took place in. The families on both sides had to go out of their way to have the wedding here because this was the only hotel big enough.

3. The food is always different, yo.

The American wedding had a choice between fish, beef, chicken or vegetarian. The service was table-side.

I had this beautiful fish with a fantastic flower garnish. Voila!

I had this beautiful fish with a fantastic flower garnish. Voila!

The Indian wedding had a buffet room. No joke.

This is the same size hall as the American wedding except its only used for the buffet room.

This is the same size hall as the American wedding except its only used for the buffet room.

4. Music rocks the house.

The American wedding had a fun band with singers.

The Indian wedding had a well-known DJ with 2 hot Indian dudes playing dhol, or Punjabi drums.

weddings indian dancing

That’s most of the south Asian population of southern New Jersey on the dance floor.


5. How late does this thing go?

The American wedding ended around midnight and I was safely tucked in my bed at 12:30.

The Indian wedding ended around 1 or 2 and I spent another hour and a half prying off the dry mascara on my eyelashes.

(Like hell I’m going to show you a picture of that.)

In all honesty? One wedding wasn’t necessarily better than the other. It was just…different. I had fun at both events. One was a lot more reserved and refined. The other? Well, let’s just say that most of the people my parents’ age were getting drunk and letting loose on the dance floor. Indian weddings are loud and noisy but, hey, sometimes that’s just what the doctor ordered.

So no more weddings for me for a while. Even though I was actually a part of the American wedding as a bridesmaid, the Indian wedding is what wore me out. Why? Well because no one parties like the Desis party. And by Desi I mean Indian. shikha and me

That’s it for my snarky blog post about weddings. Until next time. Toodles!


London, Bollywood Style: Sonali Shares the Next Big Thing in Tourism

There’s this Bollywood song (by the way, I could open pretty much any blog post with that line because truly there’s a Bollywood song for just about every situation) so anywho, there’s this Bollywood song from the movie Queen and it goes something like this:

You are the gonging bell of the Big Ben…

And all of London bops to your beat.

(Tu Ghanti Big Ben di… Sara London Thumakda)

We were in London last week and I swear that song would not stop playing in my head. So picture me staring up at the Big Ben, the London Eye at my back, letting myself slip into a passive aggressive form of the bhagra (think shoulders bouncing surreptitiously beneath a coat) while my kids searched the throngs of tourists for prospective (less mortifying) parents they could run away with.

And being that there is little else more entertaining to parents of teenagers than embarrassing them, my husband and I took every opportunity we could to turn our London trip into an odyssey of Bollywood nostalgia—a remarkably easy thing for a Bollywood buff to do in that remarkably beautiful city that the Mumbai Film Industry has paid homage to decade after decade with unrelenting post-colonial devotion. Firstly, which red blooded Bolly-phile could sit on the steps of Trafalgar Square and not imagine Amrish Puri in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge feeding the pigeons with that unforgettable baritone birdcall that was one part lecherous uncle calling to the neighborhood kids and one part pathos-filled immigrant beckoning those foreign pigeons who harken his homeland oh so poignantly.

l_112870_e0c181e9To those of you not familiar with Bollywood films, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge is unarguably the most beloved romantic Hindi film of all time. So much so that it is referred to simply as ‘DDLJ,’ no exposition necessary. It’s the story of two kids of migrant parents raised in London on two sides of very, very, wide tracks that divide London into the Ferrari owning have-too-muches from the convenience store owning have-just-enoughs.  It’s your classic, delicious romance between the rule abiding, know it all good girl, who is her dictatorial (pigeon feeding) father’s pride and joy, and the spoilt, Ferrari-driving, high school dropout bad boy, who is also his most undictatorial father’s pride and joy.

When our hero and heroine fall in love while backpacking across Europe with their besties there is absolutely no hope for them. Daddy #1 (of pigeon fame) has already promised his precious and thus far obedient daughter to his best friend’s son back home. Daddy #2 (of letting his dropout son drive a Ferrari fame) has sworn to never let his son go a moment without having every single thing his little heart desires. Hence, while Daddy#1 whisks our heroine away to the motherland to fulfill his promise, Daddy #2 goads the hero into hot pursuit. The rest of the movie involves our hero infiltrating the wedding home and winning the bride as his own by charming his way into the hearts of one and all.

Now I might sound like I’m mocking, but I promise you that the dimpled, lush haired, Shah Rukh Khan and the impish, just plain lush, Kajol sparked the kind of chemistry on the screen that ruined my entire generation of Indian girls for ever being satisfied with the ordinary day-to-day chemistry of our own pedestrian loves.

So, here we were in London, where such an epic love blossomed, pointing out landmarks—the cinema at Leicester square outside which Shah Rukh and Kajol first whizzed past each other totally unaware of their cosmic connection and the very world slid into slow motion around them at the impact, or King’s Cross station where they separate after having found such a love but not the words to admit it.

Yes, there was much sighing (from me) and much eye-rolling (from the teens), but what kind of Bollywood fan would I be if I didn’t return from London hopped up on some hundred proof DDLJ nostalgia. There was also a trip to Southall (thank you, book research), the Little India within London where films like Bend It Like Beckham, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, and Patiala House were set. Patiala House, by the way, is a delightful little film about a Punjabi family coming to political power in a racially evolving London. I would have searched for the huge hacienda-style mansion in which the Singh family lived, but I was too distracted by the bazaar-style markets with glass bangles and gold rimmed chiffon and kebabs on food carts and the best Biryani I’ve ever eaten.

So, while Jeeves and Wooster thrive at the West End and the Kohinoor diamond glistens on its perch amid the crown jewels at the Tower of London, and Harry Potter and Jane Austen pilgrimages continue to shore up the world’s largest tourist destination (sixteen million tourists thus far this year, thank you very much) I propose a **London, Bollywood Style** tour. Because, really, doesn’t everyone deserve to be the gonging bell of the Big Ben every once in a while with all of London bopping to a Bollywood beat around them?

London Thumakda from Queen

What Indian Women Want: Falguni Kothari on the role of women in independent India.

15th August marked the 68th anniversary of India’s independence from the British Raj and I want to address an issue that brings me great hope. I can’t say joy yet, but I hope that joy is soon in the coming.

Indian Flag + Woman (source:

While Independent India is in no way a great nation and in some ways a chronic disappointment to its citizens, (surely the Father’s of the Nation are whirling like tornadoes in their powdery graves at the depraved depths we’ve managed to choke our nation on) the changes that I see bursting in women across India is super heartening. I was in Mumbai early this month where I had the incredible pleasure of meeting a hornet of women at a Champagne Brunch hosted by my publisher. Some were fellow authors, some were filmmakers, journalists, IT professionals, execs, entrepreneurs, while some were plain homemakers. Though, in no way were these homemakers apologetic about who they were and the power they wielded—and there is no question that every one of these women were empowered.

Our talks were women-centric with an odd joke or two thrown in about the over-the-top publicity of the latest release of a well-known male author, who shall remain nameless as ol’ Voldemort. In due course, our talk meandered to the plight of women in India.

We wondered why it was okay for a 50 year old male actor to prance around trees, jerk his hips at his 17-year-old co-star in a song sequence sure to give him a slipped disc and get paid great truckloads of money while a 50-year-old heroine is considered passé and not good for anything but the role of a mother or sister even if she possibly win Dancing with the Stars?

We spoke about how utterly frustrating it is to get divorced in India. The Indian Judicial system does not make dissolving a dead marriage easy. Not that it ever is, but if one does reach the stage where all else has failed and divorce is the only option, the litigation could go on for years, decades unless clerks, judges, lawyers, even the peons working at the courthouse, aren’t bribed frequently and well to speed up court dates. And if one half of the couple lets ego come in the way…then God help you getting a divorce in this lifetime. I heard about the plight of a woman who left her husband in 1982, when she was 38 years old—in the prime of her life. The lady has just signed her final divorce papers last month at the ripe old age of 70 because her husband would not let his rage at her temerity to leave him go.

A young girl admitted that she wasn’t interested in marriage at all. She would never let a man rule her life as her father ruled her mother’s. And by some fortune if she did find a great guy, then it would be pre-nups all the way to the altar.

Another young girl lies to her family every day about her job—she’s a features writer for several magazines and newspapers—as they wouldn’t approve of her choice in career and meeting men for interviews etc.  

Yet another woman’s young daughter asked her how she chose Daddy to marry? What made him special? The woman’s answer: he was kind, funny and he let me be myself.

And isn’t that the most important thing? That we are allowed to be ourselves without judgments, restrictions or well-meaning cultural leashes tethering us to the ground?

I sometimes forget that I grew up in the same environment as these lovely ladies. While my own family—the one I was born in and the one I married into—is more progressive than most in India, I still had these lines of restrictions drawn around me. For my own good. So that I’m safe. Moving to America has shifted those lines so far apart that I need a telescope to see them. Not that I’m even looking anymore.

So, Dear Readers, whether it’s just the right era for change or global influence or increasing education or simply the emancipation of our long-stifled spirits, the scent of hope is in the air in India. At least in the metros, the women are breaking free. Even if they have to lie about their jobs or be cynical about marriage or wait 32 years to get a divorce—they are doing it.

I shall end this post with a quote from a dear friend: 

“It’s not easy to fly with clipped wings. But I am going to try.”

Jai Hind. 

I’m in love: Tara’s Obsession With Hunks, Part 1

Just so we’re straight, you know that this blog post series is going to have a lot of, I mean a lot, of parts, right?

I have a crush. It’s a quite intense, I-can’t-stop-trolling-the-internet-for-every-bit-about-him kind. It’s the kind where I discover a  male celebrity and fall for him and he’s all I can think for weeks.


In the beginning, years ago, it was Colin Firth when I watched Pride and Prejudice when I was just 13.

I had it for Ian Somerholder when I watched Vampire Diaries.

Then it was Richard Armitage when I watched North and South.

Then let’s not forget the Shah Rukh Khan era when I watched Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Jayange.

And my latest is *drum roll* Ranveer Singh…

It began one Saturday night innocently enough when hubby and I were looking for a movie to watch. I’ve been off movies for a while- Hollywood, Bollywood, you name it, I wasn’t interested.

So there we were, and Hubby’s trying to get me interested in Netflix’s offerings and suddenly, I was in the mood for that dramatic, over-the-top emotional marathon that only Bollywood could deliver. bbb1

So we chose Band Baaja Baarat.


And I was in love…


The movie was good, but wow, the male lead actor’s energy was just superb…

And so another love affair began…I glommed all his movies, sadly of which they aren’t many :) but luckily for me his star is on the rise (I think), so I can’t wait. I gobbled up every little tidbit I could about him- apparently, that energy he brings to his roles is how he is  in real life too…

For the first time in my life, my love affair with a celebrity has also that extra oomph…because apparently when it comes to Ranveer, I’m the older woman. It just keeps getting better, right?

But having seen his crazy intensity in the Bollywood Style Rome and Juliet- Ram Leela – I’m sure he can handle me…

Now for your Tuesday morning’s delight, here is Ranveer and why I’m crazy over him. How about you, ladies? Any hunk I’ve been missing out on that I should check out. Please let me know..:)